You’re the only you.
Hi all! Hope everyone has been doing well…SXSW is over and Spring is around the corner! Life is great, isn’t it?
I’ve been inspired to write this entry because of personal struggles I’ve had in my life and struggles I hear others having with being “ok” with who you are and your place in life. I’ve had struggles being a woman, an artist and a musician.
First of all, I have to say, being a woman in this world is tough because there’s so much that is expected of us in the way we look, dress, carry ourselves, etc. It’s that -ER factor….that someone is prettiER, smartER, thinnER, richER….it goes on. It can make us crazy and insecure…it leaves us vulnerable and prey to those with bad intentions.
The next facet of my personal struggle is being a musician. There have been so many times I have watched my heroes on stage and have thought that I would never be good enough. And if you’re a singer or musician, how many times have you been sent a video of a 5 year old busting out a perfect rendition of a Mariah Carey song or a 7 year old girl playing Eruption note for note? It can be pretty discouraging. I have to say that when I see someone just BLAZE on the drums, I just think…”ok, I’m going to pick up my drums, walk to the edge of the earth and hurl them into the sea. Then, I’m going to curl up in a ball and turn to dust”.
It’s tough being a creative mind because it’s such a strong drive…we don’t know how else to be. We need to create art and music…I know I can’t live without it. As a creative person, it’s also a battle of constantly feeling like you and/or your craft is not good enough or that someone is better than you. It makes us stress and start to re-evaluate our self worth. It can be a sad, lonely place to be…and I’ve been there…sometimes, still am. It’s a battle we all must fight and win….winning is crucial to your self esteem and moving forward in life.
The bottom line is there’s only one YOU. I know that sounds very simplistic, but it’s true. I KNOW there are people who are viewed as “better” than me in many aspects….as a woman, artist and/or musician….but they’re still not me. And you have to also think “better” for who?
I had to remind myself of that when I started playing drums…that I’m the only ME there is out there and that’s enough. I’m still learning to this day and will always be a student. But when a band chooses me to play with them, I know they want me for who I am and what I bring. If they just want A drummer, there’s tons of people to choose from in this town…and many that kick my ass all over the place when it comes to skill. I’m not saying that as a knock on myself, it’s just a fact….and it’s a constant fact no matter where I go. They have to want ME.
It’s taken a while for me to get to this place and it will take more time to refine myself to where I truly want to be. You have to just tell yourself that you’re good enough for what’s happening currently. And if someone doesn’t want you for some reason, be it as a man or woman, artist or musician, there’s going to be someone who will…and it will be right. Don’t let rejection or that -ER factor determine your self worth. You’re unique and bring something no one else can….YOU.
So next time, instead of looking at a situation like “they don’t want me because I’m not ______ enough“…look at it as they’re not right for you. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just what it is and your right place will be there when it arrives. Just keep your head up and walk in confidence no matter what you look like, play like or sound like. Confidence attracts greatness. Be great!